tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1808326228859379988.post590947748805586151..comments2022-11-19T03:01:50.559-08:00Comments on Linda's Blog: Chores and Underlings: What WorksLinda Clementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04758620284199509794noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1808326228859379988.post-68245488594481661072011-07-25T22:07:43.911-07:002011-07-25T22:07:43.911-07:00Sounds good to me!Sounds good to me!Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04011215854761315277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1808326228859379988.post-34776594226176350332011-07-22T09:01:22.177-07:002011-07-22T09:01:22.177-07:00We had a simple method, based on reality --there a...We had a simple method, based on reality --there are certainly many other ways, but this one seemed sensible to me: <br /><br />When there is a present-coming-in event (birthdays and Christmas, usually) there was a 'Wow... there's no more room for more stuff in here. Do you want to keep this stuff, and donate your new presents, or donate some of this to make room?'<br /><br />Economics are real on several fronts: space, time, finances... when the space is filled up, nothing more can be added. Kids (and a lot of adults) need to learn that, yes?Linda Clementhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04758620284199509794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1808326228859379988.post-84604344597774829202011-07-19T19:33:57.976-07:002011-07-19T19:33:57.976-07:00I like your checklist. I usually pick up the livi...I like your checklist. I usually pick up the living room and sweep at the end of the day or first thing in the morning before she gets up. I don't mind doing it because I'm the one who likes the environment tidy to work and live in. I can't wake up to a dirty kitchen! <br /><br />The resistance happens when I'm feeling stressed and ask her to help in the middle of the day, usually after I've stepped on something hard and painful or tripped over piles of stuff. Then I have a bit of a freak-out for five seconds and make my "request" for help. So, according to your checklist, I'm sure most of the time this happens, 1 - she is otherwise engaged, and 2 - I'm not feeling so happy (more like frustrated). I'll try and keep this in mind for next time. <br /><br />And I agree that her messy room is about volume of stuff. I know she finds it overwhelming and has no idea how to start keeping it tidy. I actually don't expect her too. I would LOVE to cull a great deal of the stuff in her room that she doesn't play with but whenever I ask her if we can donate or get rid of anything she really freaks out. I don't know where all the fear comes from but she won't let go of anything. <br /><br />I feel uncomfortable removing things behind her back but am not sure what else to do.Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04011215854761315277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1808326228859379988.post-27635096876890891642011-07-19T08:04:12.097-07:002011-07-19T08:04:12.097-07:00It is fear talking... or nattering. LOL
Here'...It is fear talking... or nattering. LOL<br /><br />Here's a handy checklist, when you're 'asking' for compliance:<br /><br />~ is the child otherwise engaged in an activity you're interrupting?<br />~ are you feeling generous, loving, kind, helpful and cooperative... or something else?<br />~ are you thinking in terms of the present moment, or being dragged into some other world-- a possible future or the inside of someone else's critical mind?<br />~ do you have enough energy (well-fed, rested, hydrated) to do this work now? Does she?<br /><br />There is a tangible difference between wanting someone to cooperate with a job you're loving, and loving the idea of someone else cooperating with you getting out of a job.<br /><br />I would suggest that her 'preference' for a messy room is actually an inability to manage the volume of stuff she owns. Perhaps, as much as anything else, culling some of the multitude will make it easier for her to keep things tidier...Linda Clementhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04758620284199509794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1808326228859379988.post-8548808984641429292011-07-18T22:23:53.669-07:002011-07-18T22:23:53.669-07:00Linda, I love cooking and I don't mind cleanin...Linda, I love cooking and I don't mind cleaning but when I ask for help picking up toys in the common rooms of our house my five year old has zero interest in doing anything. I notice when the space is tidier she really enjoys it. I worry that she will continue to expect everything to be done for her and I don't understand her resistance. I don't usually make a big deal about it and she is free to leave her room as messy as she wants. Maybe this is just fear talking but I would love her to help me pick up her things on occasion so I could enjoy the space more without stepping on bits and pieces everywhere. Anyway, just nattering. I always enjoy your posts here and on UC.Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04011215854761315277noreply@blogger.com