11 things really wrong with public school

Would you let a child TRY school . . . if they want to?

 No.

In my opinion school is not benign. 

The school system is actively damaging, particularly to children's self-esteem and natural confidence in the intrinsic rewards of learning.

If a supervisor could accompany the kids to school the whole time they were 'trying,' it might be possible for a child to have an experience that was neutral, or even educational. 

But alone in that self-referential, detrimental system... no. 

When they're very young, absolutely no. When they're young teens, at a time when they're going through major brain development and having a hard time even driving their usual lives with balance and ease, also definitely no. 

What if the child could handle it?

While it might be possible, sometimes, for a stable, confident child to deftly handle some of what happens within that system --a direct conflict, say. 

But how many a day? Two before the bell, 2 before lunchtime, 3 more during lunch and 3 in the afternoon? Let's pretend there won't be more after the bell in the hallways or on the grounds...just because it's an easy day.

Because then there is All Of The Rest. Most of which is never handled, never addressed at all as it is, within the system, seen as normal. All kids when they first go into the system (at any age, even if that's before they're able to speak) have to figure out what to do about all of that: 

Do they stand up to the teacher about the bullying? Every single instance of it, or is there some scale of 'that's not bad enough to comment on'? What about the sexual assault? What about the child who is utterly ignored? What about the one getting a disproportion of the school's or teacher's attention, whether because of higher needs or just worse behaviour? What do they do about the kids who are left to flail, or sit dully until their aid comes back tomorrow? Nothing? Anything?

What about the lack of respect for the humanity, body wisdom and personal pace of everyone except the strongest willed and most confident? 

It was not lost on me while I was in the system that I, alone, was allowed to wander the halls during class time, get up and leave a lecture while the teacher was speaking (without a murmur of reproach) or completely fail to hand in any portion of an assignment without it negatively affecting my grade. 

Somehow, I managed to import a sense that 'Linda's doing something else that's important' into teacher's heads --or I was far more trouble to deal with than I was worth-- or both, so I was respected (or at least not stomped on) when I felt the need to move around, or believed I knew enough about this subject already, or whatever provoked me to routinely leave the classroom to do important Linda things, like having a smoke. I was marked present for classes I spent at the orthodontist.

11 Real Things Really Wrong with Public School

1. The teacher being repeatedly distracted from teaching by kids' needs, and by conflicts among the children, a simple function of being vastly outnumbered
2. The quiet, seat-to-seat nastiness that the teacher sees but doesn't address (because: outnumbered)
3. All of what the teacher doesn't see (still outnumbered)
4. What we all know happens to kids who point out (tattling / ratting) what the teacher didn't see (because snitches are also outnumbered)
5. The teachers who are bullies, from tactics used to control the classroom (outnumbered) to what happens to kids the teacher doesn't like or whose parents demand better care of their children 
6. The casual violence in the halls and grounds
7. The tremendous energy used resisting the system: being late, devaluing intelligence and high marks, forgetting (homework, instructions, what the teacher just said,)  talking back and refusal to comply
8. The basic lack of civility and respect toward (and, consequently, among) the children
9. The errors in textbooks and answer keys, and outdated information kids can easily check on their phones (and what happens to children who correct teachers in public)
10. Teachers who hate kids, their jobs, or the subjects they teach
11. The clowning, distractions and utter disrespect for the teachers and material taught

Read Michael 1952's story at https://bit.ly/2zuUZYP

All of this, without even talking about the pace, quality or composition of the curriculum, or its relevance in today's world (much less the world 20 years from today), the subjectiveness of grading, the unnecessarily contrived competition, the propaganda, the unnecessary-yet-intentional age-segregation, and the sexism inherent in the system.

Why not let a child try school, if the child wants to? 

Because school is not a benign environment, and few adults who lived through it understand the ramifications of even a short indoctrination into that system, for kids who have never had to live it.

Why Not 'Let' A Child 'Try' School ... if the child wants to?

Because, in my opinion, school is not benign. School are actively damaging, particularly (but not solely) to self-esteem and natural confidence in the intrinsic rewards of learning.

If I could accompany my kids to school the whole time they were 'trying' it, I think it might be possible at all to have them experience that in a way that was neutral or even educational. But left alone in that overwhelmingly persistent and pervasively indoctrinated system... particularly at a time when they're going through major brain development and having a hard time even driving their usual lives with balance and ease. 

Going into that system alone might make it so that some of what happens there is handled beautifully --a direct conflict, say. But then there is All Of The Rest. Most of which is never handled, never addressed and is very rapidly seen as 'normal.' Or perhaps 'inevitable.'

• The seat-to-seat nastiness that the teacher sees but doesn't address (because, really, who has time, and they're sitting quietly). 
• Or all of what the teacher doesn't see. 
• There is the teacher-down bullying that is directed at the kids the teacher doesn't like (which is no biggie for the kids who are likeable...unless they're sensitive to the struggles of others).
• There is the casual and ongoing violence in the halls and grounds. 
• The tremendous energy of resistance to the system itself that is sometimes just 'forgetting' and inertia, but is often outright rebellion --where does that observation go? 
• The basic lack of civility which (it has been my observation) homeschoolers are used to and expect --how to handle that, how to see it without it affecting the collective of 'this is how I behave in the world' a child's already gained. 
• What to do about the errors in the textbook the teacher is marking based on the incorrect answer key? 
• How to approach the subject that's being taught by the teacher who doesn't understand it or visibly dislikes it?
• What about the clowning, distractions and utter disrespect for the teacher --notably more pronounced when teachers are insecure or incompetent? Do we sit quietly while the struggling teacher is being tormented? Do we laugh? Do we try to moderate it? Model more respectful approaches?

Do you stand up to the teacher about the bullying seen but not addressed? Every single instance of it or is there some scale of 'that's not bad enough to comment on'? What about the sexual assault? What about the child who is utterly ignored? What about the one getting a disproportion of the school's or teacher's attention? What do we do about the kids who are left to flail about, or sit dully until their aid comes back tomorrow? Nothing? Anything?

What about the lack of respect for the humanity, body wisdom and personal pace of everyone except the strongest willed and most confident? 

It was not lost on me in the system that affected me deeply, and for years, that I alone was allowed to wander the halls during class time, get up and leave a lecture while the teacher was speaking (without a murmur of reproach) or completely fail to hand in any portion of an assignment without it negatively affecting my grade. Somehow, I managed to import a sense that 'Linda's doing something else that's important' into teacher's heads --or I was far more trouble to deal with than I was worth-- or both, so I was respected (or at least not stomped on) when I felt the need to move around, or believed I knew enough about this subject already, or whatever provoked me to routinely leave the classroom and, say, go have a smoke. I was marked present for classes I spent at the orthodontist.


All of this, without even talking about the quality or composition of the curriuculum, its relevance in today's world, the subjectiveness of grading, the pervasive and contrived competition, the propaganda, the age-segregation and sexism inherent in the system.

Why not let a child try school, if the child wants to? Because school is not benign environment, and few adults understand the ramifications of even a short indoctrination into that system.

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photo Classroom Panorama by grampymoose, used with permission (Creative Commons, attrib/share alike)

Do All Stay-at-home Parents Have to be Stupid?

Years ago, I ran across an article in the now-defunct Home Education Magazine. The short version, in case you don't feel like finding a back issue and reading the whole thing: 

Amy Hollingsworth ruminates on what is 'missing' from a stay-at-home-mom's life, mainly work that will not be undone tomorrow... laundry that's just going to get dirty, meals that are eaten, children who will need a bath again, and her perspective of how to find a tangibly rewarding aspect to motherhood and housewifehood.

This is a perspective that has long bothered me. She says, at one point:

"Not like the tangible sense of accomplishment you might get after finishing a report or closing a deal or saying something really smart in a board meeting."

Uh... saying something really smart in a board meeting is tangible?

I worked for years before having children, and I have to say that closing a deal might be momentarily satisfying, but in a moment there are other open deals that need to be closed, and others still that are unopened... that never ends, anywhere. 



There are few jobs where people finish the work and never have to repeat it, or something quite a lot like it, tomorrow. The report might be all crisp and bound, but it's not the last report. It will be revised, there will be editorial changes, it will need to be added to or there will be a different one to do. 

No one, in any job, walks home at the end of Friday and says 'there, that's done once and for all' with nothing to do on Monday. Even one big win doesn't stop the workflow, getting a huge project completely finished is satisfying, but it only completely clears the desk of someone whose job ends simultaneously.

The tangible rewards of motherhood and housewifehood are akin to the kind in the work world: I can enjoy the fresh air scent of the line-dried sheets when I replace them on my bed, and when I stick my nose into the linen closet, and I know I've accomplished something that is as lasting as the employee review, or serving the last table of the night. 

If I don't believe the clean linens have value, or I don't value my effort (however much was done by technology), the accomplishment will not feel like one. But the same can be said of an employee review that is ticked boxes and requires the use of phrases written by others, or not being the one who made the food being served.

I believe that the key to healthy sanity is in personally valuing what we do. If I feel that tidying up the Lego  is drudgery or not worth my time, or what servants should be doing for me, or it should stay tidied up because I tidied it up ever... I'm going to have no difficulty slipping into the misery of unfairness, of being asked too much, of not being wealthy enough to own slaves or not being appreciated enough by others who should see Lego tidying as more valuable than I do.

This is the core of the problem with grades and praise and employee reviews and rewards and awards: they take the onus for appreciation off the person doing the work and put it 'out there' --where the tangibility of the smart thing said in the board room first has to be acknowledged as such by others. 

When an accomplishment has at all to do with being seen by others, then I can feel exactly the same kind of tangible sense of accomplishment by saying something brilliant to a child, or even to myself in the kitchen... because it's either smart or it isn't, who hears it cannot be related.

I suspect that what many mothers feel the lack of is the pats on the back. 

When one is required to seek to find ones own sense of accomplishment, it challenges something we've come to believe is necessary for the functioning of the galaxy: an external witness. 

Yet, a huge part of self-esteem is being able to see, and value, ourselves accurately without relying on external praise or rewards to prop us up.

After my first was born, I went through an interesting change of heart. While I used to believe that what I did at work was valuable and a good use of my time, and worth what I got paid for it, I came to discover that it wasn't. In fact, it went from feeling important to feeling irrelevant. Anyone could move that paper around, answer that phone effectively, transfer those calls, write those reports, organize that workflow --only I could mother my daughter. I felt for the first time that what I was doing actually mattered, both in terms of what it was I was doing, and that it was me doing it.

From that initial discovery, my self-esteem came to be linked very closely with what I thought was valuable, not what other people might see, or think, or believe. So, my house is messy --and my children are loved and healthy and nurtured. The laundry really piles up, and I nurture my family with food made with care and love, skill and knowledge. The dandelions on the lawn are thriving, and I have nothing better to do with my energy than sit up until 3:35 a.m. talking with my 21 year old daughter about her day, her friends, her thoughts and her discoveries.

One of my tangible accomplishments has always been that the week ended with people who experienced many great moments, laid down some excellent memories, have fun stories to tell and deep connections between them. How can a job, a paycheque or a employee award, or the applause of the board compete with that?