...effective ways of getting them into
the car, out of the house, to get dressed...
Every couple of hours I read
a post of Facebook wherein parents describe the explanations they
give their kids for why diapers need to be changed, or we all need to
go outside, or it's time to leave the park, or go to school, or get
out of bed, or go to bed, or put on shoes, or pack up for dance
class... or whatever.
“You want to go to
class...”
“If you don't, your bum
will get sore...”
“It's good for your body
to be out in the sunlight, moving around...”
“Besides, you like the
seaside...”
Translation: “Blah blah
blah blah blah blah bum blah blah blah.”
One of the recommended
techniques to improve not only a child's vocabulary but also their
ability to think for life is to chatter away at them about what is
going on, what things are called, their descriptions, how they
function, etc. Pointing out the world and describing it theoretically
gives kids the mental framework they need to assemble their thoughts
in order to understand what is going on around them...
...which is all well and
good, up to a point.
That point is where parents are trying to
convince them that a parent's ideas of what should happen next is a super great idea that all sane children will leap to agree
with.
Is this where I mention that
kids (especially little kids, but let's be honest: people of all
ages) are not noted for their sanity?
Even after decades of study
in marketing and the science of influencing people, adults struggle to
convince other adults to switch to Pepsi or wear their seatbelts...
and yet we expect to talk a busy toddler into changing activities
while they're doing what they want to do. This is not rational.
And, more importantly, it
doesn't work. Pretty much ever.
No child is going to be sold
on the 'fun' of cleaning up their room, or putting the dishes in the
sink, or going outside when they are happily exploring the texture of
the carpet.
What Actually Works, Ever
(not 100%, because, see above, re: sanity)
Get the child's attention.
Announce.
Wait.
Wait a little while longer.
Get the child's
attention
When they're busy experimenting with the light and shadow on the tile by the door, their minds are not open to what else is going on... so to them, dad chattering away in the background is like talk radio in a different language that you can hear from someone's passing car.
When they're busy experimenting with the light and shadow on the tile by the door, their minds are not open to what else is going on... so to them, dad chattering away in the background is like talk radio in a different language that you can hear from someone's passing car.
Get down on the child's
level, in front of the child so you are within sight. Touch the child
gently. Wait until they make eye contact.
Announce
Just say what is coming up,
with the first direction you need them to follow:
'Shoes on, we're going to
the grocery store.'
'Time for a diaper change,
meet me over there...'
'Get what you need for
skating lessons.'
Wait
Things are moving inside
where you can't see them. Gears are shifting, and because they are
little and have hardly any practice, it takes a while. Watch their
face ponder what you've said, and wait while it's integrated into
their world in there.
They want to get along, they
want to be part of the big world. They want to be clean and happy and
fed and have a variety of experiences. They just don't want to be
rushed.
They really don't want to be
convinced.
Just wait. Just watch.
